I could look a thousand years in the future, I would be standing there with you
I could wait a thousand years for the wish that never came true
I could love a thousand girls not one of them just like you
But you cast me out where the dark waters stir
My sanity buried with pictures of her.

-me :)

i get such a feeling when you’re staring at te ceiling

and im biting your neck

your mouth is hanging open

(you were speechless when i confessed i cared)

i thought the words got lost but i found them there in this humid air

we share (we share!)

the words that never left your lips

i feel them now in your fingertips

they get louder when my teeth sink in

when i recover one night lover

(will you think back on this again)

when its over is it really over

is it over when you say its over?

its 3am, laying in bed and im not sober

look at my phone i know its you 

“baby can i come over?”

i love you

not the way i planned too

in hurt you first you hurt me worse

you’re using too many words that dont appeal to me

i wont drop down just because you want me too

there’s a closet you built in me

to keep your corpses hidden deep

they wrestle inside of me, i dont think you killed them all the way

just like you to not finish, 

your heart is not in it

am i just your zombie keeper?

too dead inside to be eaten

the only one who knows your secrets

they aren’t coming out

i’ll keep crawling back to you, 

even if i turn green and blue

why did you think i could handle this

fresh flesh dripping, what to do?

.unfinished.

i wont try. it’s too easy for this ship to sink, but don’t it look so pretty?

i might walk the plank at midnight when you’re sound asleep, unaware of any disaster. Oh id rather die then have you know me the way i know myself, & i’ve no remorse for leaving you at sea. There’s plenty of fish i hear, and you’re quite the bait babe. If you can wake in time and if i have not locked you in, you could live. But me i’d rather sink then swim and i’d prefer to sink alone. Im not in this im not. Close my eyes and walk right off, yeah i’d drown for you, or rather, for everything we couldn’t do all the things we never saw. the midnight ocean knows it all it’s where i need to be, now it will claim us both. You in the deepest of dreams and me in the cold no hand to hold the water will lull me to sleep.. let that ice water in like knives. The cut i’ve been craving for years. Too wet to notice the tears too numb to feel them anyway. Remember when you said it would all be okay? I’m laughing at that now as i look around and all i see is black. no turning back because i planned it out perfect, pictured this so many times. If i somehow stopped your breath before this ship did sink, then where would be your suffering oh, how could i repay you? I wont let you live to see my pale blue face floating, but it’s where i want to be. I was never with you really, in your arms or eyes but i claimed differently, oh the things we would die to believe. you never dug too deep, never discovered these horrors that keep me, now i feed them to the sea

you’re the sharpest blade i’ve come across

you’re the cut that bleed the most

you’re the infection that spread inside of my chest

my first introduction to death

a memory i hold close

There’s nothing more you have to be then something unfamiliar

a smile i haven’t seen a different temperature of heat

words i haven’t heard before

i don’t expect anything sweet

i don’t expect much to come of this

not even for us to meet cuz honestly i enjoy the fantasy

thinking on the many possibilities of how things could be

There’s no such thing as love

so i gave that up

decided just to dream

innocent and clean

wont give it the chance to go wrong

its better this way just trust me, just text me

tell me all about your day and leave out the lonliness

love it when its only us

take comfort in knowing there’s someone you can trust

& we can’t be pulled apart because we were never close enough

There comes a time when you must choose

heart or heart, win or lose

a point where love shall overcome

all that has been said or done

im an artist and your soul is my canvas

not every piece is pretty but can you feel the meaning

speaking to the blind with rhythms of the mind

singing to the deaf with color, wonder

it takes more to break a soul

pain can tear it down some

replace the parts where love came undone

the pain flakes away to reveal stronger strenth

where this artist finds her paint

all the shades turn black

black tears soaking up into the earth

the same spot she ended it

the moment you knew it wasn’t right

the second though that crossed your mind hundreds of times

i always knew what you meant to yourself

you always knew what you meant to me

even when i was pretending

it doesn’t matter that im hurting anymore

ignore the raindrops but you can’t avoid the storm

the question is can we survive it

is this love or crazyness

im not ready, and that ache wont go away

that was your job to heal the pain

all we know is falling

and i can only crush under the weight

My eyes hurt but I’m afraid to close em, cuz I know what lies beneath these waters, I prefer to leave unstirred. You come up out of the blackness of sea, to haunt me, still lurking. I dare not dream.. I know you are waiting. And to wake without you kills me more then seeing you with her.. you’re so good at hurting me I hope you like it. Hope it gives you more than what you’re taking from me. Sun faded memories, we left the guilt, wanted to start clean. But I couldn’t cope, so I kept you waiting. I closed my ears, nothing on earth worth listening to, until a voice broke thru, and it wasn’t you. But that voice is gone and it was all wrong anyway. It could be.. I went thru it to understand what it takes to be with someone, I always knew how to handle you, from the other side. I could put my heart on the line, but your love is too untrue. My soul cannot soak you in, your secrets are poision, your touch is a sin. Hidden devil I know you feel it inside of you, making you do the things that will eventually destroy you. I know I could tear you apart, if you gave me your heart. I also know that even tho ur heart could be mine, you haven’t the strength nor the time to nurish this.. or stay away from what u can’t resist. I wish I wish I could sleep without thinking without giving u a thought.. I want so much that I never got, I don’t care to rest with your weight on my chest you’re killing me just how you like one breath at a time